The Seven "A's" of Confession

In chapter 6 of The Peacemaker, Ken Sande has a helpful process for confessing our sin to others. He says, "If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs."

1. Address Everyone Involved: Your confession should reach as far as your offense.
2. Avoid If, But, and Maybe: The best way to ruin a confession is to use words that shift the blame to others or that appear to minimize or excuse your guilt.
3. Admit Specifically: Don't generalize.
4. Acknowledge the Hurt: Express sorrow for how you have hurt or affected the person.
5. Accept the Consequences: This demonstrates genuine repentance.
6. Alter Your Behavior: What steps will you take to change?
7. Ask for Forgiveness (and Allow Time): Humble yourself and ask for the person to forgive you for your contribution to the conflict.

Be At Peace With One Another

"One Another" Commands: Post #1

Introductory Post

One of the responsibilities we have to each other is to be at peace. The Bible is clear that Christians should live in peace with one another.

Mark 9:50: "Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another."

Romans 14:19: "So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding."

1 Thessalonians 5:13b: "Be at peace with one another."

Observations/Applications:

1. Peace is God-given. We cannot produce peace. We are by nature at emnity with God and with each other. Left to ourselves, peace is impossible. Something radical must happen to us in order for us to obey this command (the gospel!).

2. Peace is more than just an agreement to disagree. It must be deeper than that.

3. Peace cannot exist where there is bitterness, jealously, hostility, etc. Peace is the result of godly relationships with each other.

4. To pursue peace means that I often will have to forfeit my needs, plans, and goals for the good of the community. It is similar to unity at this point.

5. Is there any relationship with another Christian in my life that is characterized by lack of peace (anger, hostility, emnity, jealousy, etc.)?

6. Do those outside the church recognize our churches as places of peace? It is sad that a gospel church would be known for its lack of peace.

7. Peace is a fruit of the Spirit. Thus, to grow in peace, we should seek to be more dominated by the Spirit's power in our lives.

8. Am I known as a person of peace?

9. "When believers are bitterly embroiled in disagreement or coldly estranged from one another, few people will pay attention when we try to talk with them about the reconciling love of Jesus Christ" (p. 12, The PeaceMaker by Ken Sande).

10. Through the gospel, God provides both the motivation and model for peacemaking.

What other thoughts do you have on this command to be at peace?

I would highly recommend The PeaceMaker by Ken Sande. It is an excellent guide to resolving personal conflict.