Value of Virginity
What’s the cost of premarital sex? Is it worth it?
What’s the cost of premarital sex? Is it worth it?
In the October 15, 2004 edition of The West Brook Times, Jessica Her wrote an article entitled, “Value of Virginity.” Jessica’s main point was that having premarital sex has no moral implications. She argued that each person should make the decision to have sex or not to have sex before marriage based on what is best for them. She also made the point that those who “preach abstinence” usually do not give a satisfactory answer as to why. I would like to apologize for those who have not taken the time to give satisfactory explanations for abstinence, and I would like to offer eleven “moral” reasons to wait until marriage to have sex.
1. Premarital sex dishonors God. What does God think about your premarital sex? Has anyone seriously considered this question? God created us to enjoy and worship Him. Because God loves us deeply, He has given us good guidelines for His gift of sex. He commands us to save sex for the marriage relationship. Honestly, this should be the only reason I have to give for waiting until marriage for sex. However, because most people do not value God and His counsel, I will offer the following reasons as well.
2. Love is Patient. Many teenagers engage in premarital sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend because “they love each other.” “Love” is often used as the litmus test for whether sex is right or wrong. However, there is only one way to know whether “love” is really love. Will it stand the test of time? Girls, a guy will tell you he loves you to get what he wants. However, based on the reasons below, he really wants to destroy you! No matter how many times he tells you he loves you, you can never be sure until he is willing to wait until the wedding day. You should wait until marriage to have sex because love is patient.
3. The reality of sexually transmitted diseases. Don’t skip this reason, thinking, “That would never happen to me.” Did you know that over 3 million teens contract a sexually transmitted disease each year (Pam Stenzel, Sex has a Price Tag, 67)? The most tragic part about STDs is that many of them go undetected for years. In other words, you may look at someone and think, “They don’t have an STD,” and in fact they do. How would you like to tell your future wife or husband that you have a sexually transmitted disease? Many of these diseases are transmitted simply by skin contact.
4. The reality of teenage pregnancy. If you have sex before marriage (whether you use “protection” or not) you have the possibility of becoming pregnant. No birth control option is 100% effective. Girls, you will have a tough time finding a boyfriend, a job, and friends when you are pregnant. 80% of teens who parent a child live below the poverty level. It will radically alter your life! Guys, you will pay child support for the next 18 years (around $80,000) if you get a girl pregnant. It will radically alter your life!
5. The horror of abortion. Someone will object to my statement “it will radically alter your life” with the “solution” of abortion. However, abortion is no solution at all. It will cause you more guilt and heartache than keeping the baby (not to mention the physical consequences nobody likes to talk about). The thought of killing your child will haunt you forever.
6. Guilt. Here is a good principle to live by: Live in such a way today that you will not regret it 100 or 1,000 years from now! When you stand before your future spouse (and before your God) you will wish you had never had premarital sex.
7. Sex before marriage destroys marriage. The statistics show that people who have sex before marriage usually go through at least one divorce in their lifetime. However, those who wait to have sex until their wedding day are far more likely to stay with their spouse until death does them part.
8. Married people have the best sex. Want to have really great sex? Wait until marriage because it’s proven that married people are more satisfied with their sexual experiences than those who are not (Pam Stenzel, Sex has a Price Tag, 34). Sex is a gift from God. It is to be reserved for the unbreakable bond of marriage. All things are better when they are blessed by God!
9. Abstinence is the best thing for you. Jessica argues in her article that, “regardless of what we choose, it ought to be for ourselves.” In a sense, I agree! The question is, “What is best for me?” If the reasons above are true, the best thing for you is to wait until marriage to have sex. If you really care about yourself, you will wait to have sex until your wedding day.
10. You do not need to have sex! Sex does not make you more of a human and it does not make you an adult. If you die before you have sex, you will be no less of a person. The reason I know this is because the greatest person to walk the face of this earth never had sex. Jesus Christ never had sex and He is the most awesome, beautiful, and real being in the universe.
11. Sex is too precious to be treated cheaply. Sex is to be treated like a precious gem not like driveway gravel. Sex should be guarded in a velvet-lined safe of steel commitment not cut up and divided between dozens of flings. I agree with Jessica that, “Virginity shouldn’t be something you lose. It needs to be something you share.” Share it with that special person on your wedding day; don’t lose it to just anybody.
Count the Cost,
Justin Childers
1 comment:
Sarah, great point. I presented these reasons to my students and challenged them to talk with Jessica (who is in many of their classes). Then, I figured publishing this article would allow her to respond. She didn't. I am positive she read this article though.
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