The Seven "A's" of Confession

In chapter 6 of The Peacemaker, Ken Sande has a helpful process for confessing our sin to others. He says, "If you really want to make peace, ask God to help you breathe grace by humbly and thoroughly admitting your wrongs."

1. Address Everyone Involved: Your confession should reach as far as your offense.
2. Avoid If, But, and Maybe: The best way to ruin a confession is to use words that shift the blame to others or that appear to minimize or excuse your guilt.
3. Admit Specifically: Don't generalize.
4. Acknowledge the Hurt: Express sorrow for how you have hurt or affected the person.
5. Accept the Consequences: This demonstrates genuine repentance.
6. Alter Your Behavior: What steps will you take to change?
7. Ask for Forgiveness (and Allow Time): Humble yourself and ask for the person to forgive you for your contribution to the conflict.

Forsake Your Righteousness

"Before you can ever make a clean and unamended confession of your sin, you have to first begin by confessing your righteousness. It's not just your sin that separates you from God; your righteousness does as well."

"Each one of us needs grace that's not only big enough to forgive our sin, but also powerful enough to free us from the self-atoning prison of our own righteousness...Resting in God's grace isn't just about confessing your sin; it's about forsaking your righteousness as well."

Paul David Tripp, Whiter than Snow.