Driscoll on Dating

Chapter 7 (Question 3) of Religion Saves is about dating. Driscoll addresses some of the key issues surrounding dating and draws out the idols associated with singleness in our culture. Then, he gives 16 "Christian dating principles for both men and women."

1. Maximize your singleness for God - Don't waste these precious years.

2. Do not pursue a serious relationship until you are ready to marry.

3. Be reasonable - Don't set your expectations too high or too low.

4. Do not be legalistic about dating - While our culture's practice of "dating" is unacceptable for Christians, it is not a sin for two Christians to enjoy time together.

5. Do not have any romantic relationship with someone who is a non-Christian.

6. You should be in a romantic relationship with only one person at a time.

7. He should initiate and she should respond - The man should lead.

8. You need to look at who God puts in front of you.

9. Feel free to use technology wisely - Social networking is simply a new way for God's providence to bring people together.

10. Invest in a romantic relationship only with someone you are entirely attracted to.

11. Only date someone who agrees with you on primary theological issues.

12. Guard your heart.

13. Be careful of legalism and libertinism.

14. Marry someone who will be a fit for every season of the life that awaits you together.

15. Pursue only someone you love.

16. Do not have any sexual contact until marriage.

Then, Driscoll gives seven dating questions for men and women:

For Men:

1. Are you overlooking good women?

2. Do you enjoy her?

3. Is she modest?

4. Will she follow your leadership?

5. Does she have noble character?

6. Can you provide for the lifestyle she expects?

7. As you stand back and objectively consider her, is she like any of the women that Proverbs warns against?

For Women:

1. Do you want to help him and join his course of life?

2. Is he tough enough to remain strong in tough times?

3. Will he take responsibility for you and your children?

4. Is he considerate and gentle with you?

5. Will he be a good father?

6. Is he a one-woman man?

7. How valuable are you to him?

Of course, Driscoll explains each of these principles and questions in the book.

A Word For Singles

In Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, John Piper writes a forward to singles. I find his statements helpful and Biblical.

1. Marriage, as we know it in this age, is not the final destiny of any human. Singleness here will prove to be no disadvantage in eternity (Mark. 12:25).
2. Jesus Christ, the most fully human person who ever lived, was not married. Piper tells a great story about a letter he received from a guy who said that not to have sexual relations is to be an incomplete person (p. xix).
3. The Bible celebrates celibacy because it gives extraordinary opportunity for single-minded investment in ministry for Christ (1 Corinthians 7:7; 32-35).
4. The Apostle Paul and a lot of great missionaries after him have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of God.
5. The Apostle Paul calls singleness a gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7).
6. Jesus promises that forsaking family for the sake of the kingdom will be repaid with a new family, the church (Mark 10:29-30).
7. God is sovereign over who gets married and who doesn’t. And He can be trusted to do what is good for those who hope in Him (Psalm 84:11; Romans 8:32).
8. Mature manhood and womanhood are not dependent on being married. A man does not become a man by getting married and a woman does not become a woman by getting married.